...

my capacity

some things we do better, some others we suck at. perhaps, in most frames of reference you look at this from, the latter might be things most people are just automatically good at but something you happen to massively biff everytime, so you come with creative workarounds to circumvent -- or at least compromise with doing -- said thing. 

i believe, in my trademark blindly optimistic way, that these expedients only help marginally and that we'll never truly fit in, since that's merely the cards we were dealt with.

however, try to turn said frame of reference around and it suddenly seems like the odds are stacked by our side! unfairly stacked by our side.. too easy; what about our old self, now? what about everything we stood up for?

there's just no winning; past and future will always equalize present hope, obviously. 

i don't claim to have any tip or trick to see -- really see -- how this could be worked around (can't really work around your own fate: that's exactly the essence of fate -- unworkaroundability!), but i do hope we can, maybe in some distant day, wholeheartedly put faith in our unfortunate creativity.


no cool drawing today.. henceforth, the only thing i can offer: my body..
(i liked this picture of myself and just wanted to share it but realized i've got nobody to share it to. how do you even share selfies to people? "observe: here i am. ain't i so homely and awesome? please perceive me i am desperate"  THIS is how i feel whenever i want to send people pictures of myself online. i mean, at least now i have some semblance of an excuse to do so, since that's the topic at hand. i think..)